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I am so happy. I just had an amazing night. Followed by an amazing morning.

I can't beleive he was there all along, and I didn't snatch him up.

I am just glad he is mine, now.


This past month has been the worst one of my life.

I am so tired of being misrable.

And for the first time since David's life ended and mine turned inside out, I am not misrable.

For the first time in a long time I have something to smile about.

I do not feel alone.

I feel like myself. And I like it.

:) I hope this lasts.



Yesterday morning one of my good friends took his life.

We were working together and he as a bit quiet, but he hadn't been talking a lot to me at work anyway lately so I thought nothing of it. Then he walked out without his computer. I don't want to go into the whole thing because it is very long and sad but basically I found out last night that he had taken his own life over a girl.

A stupid mean girl that he was better off without and could be better then.

He had so much to live for and I am very sad about the whole thing.

It makes me so angry that he would throw all of it away. And I can't help wondering if there was something more I could do, even though I did everything that I thought I could have when he walked out.

I am still in shock. I have never lost anyone that has meant something to me, except my great grandma, and I was very young.

I will miss him. Death seems so final. Maybe I will see him again someday.

I hope so.


Icy Hot and a sore Caboose!

Yesterday it was supposed to snow. Well, it didn't but it did rain and sleet a lot and then freeze over.

I hadn't seen Gerardo is a week because of our stupid conflicting work schedules, and he moved into a new house, so I went to see it. Well, we were going to leave to go out to dinner and he was on the phone with his Mom, whom he had been trying to get ahold of for a few days and he finally got her right before we were leaving, so I went out to the car to start it. One of his friends was coming up the stairs on the side that had a rail and I was going down on the side that didn't and I didn't realize that the stairs were just a solid sheet of ice.

I fell.

Hurt my bum. And my wrist where I tryed to catch myself. Gerardo kept telling me he was going to have to yell at his friend for pushing me. His friend was embarassed, even though he didn't at all in any way push me. In fact he was really concerned when I fell. My boy makes me smile, but my butt still hurts.

Now I am at home. Sore. And tingly because I bought some icy hot on my way home.


I am getting me raise. YAY!

I really didn't want to have to find another job. Even if I was prepared to. I was dreading starting over. And now the plan is for me to be a GM within the year! So, that excites me.

P.s. I do want to move. :P


I love snow as long as the roads are clear!!!

And 430 am post-work snowball fights. Really all I did was jump in a pile of snow. Throw some and Mykl who decided we should throw it at Bryan's car. Run screaming from Bryan as he chased Mykl not even paying attention to me, seeing as I didn't come close to ever making contact. And stand at a safe distance making fun of the fact that several of the boys snowballs were not only missing thier targets but evaporating in midair. Then I went home.

This isn't the first tacobell snowball fight the three of us have had. But, I didn't get hit this time. I guess they realize i am not much of a snowball threat. Plus- I scream really loudly at it was 430 am.

But, Bryan plays dirty. He throws ice chunks. I told him that was against the snowball rules.

On a seperate note, I find it hard to beleive that in the gazillions of snowflakes that are a foot deep on everything everywhere around right now that no two of them in the history of the world are exactly alike. I mean, how many possibilities could there be?


Crank That Hoe

So it was 5:30 in the morning and I was awake practicing my soulja boy dance in my basement. But, I stopped cuz I hit my head on the low basement ceiling. Ow.

I am getting Ok at the dance though. Wait, I take that back. I suck, but I am getting better at remembering the steps.
I hate that stupid Soulja Boy song that is ever so popular at the moment.  I think it is pretty damn stupid.  But, I was at work and David was on Youtube and we were watching a video about how to do the dance and it looks so fun!!!

So, Bobo Shakey, McLovin and myself are gonna learn the dance.  Hehe.